So, you’ve read 50 Shades of Gray, seen the movie, and now you’re ready to find a kinky partner to play with, but you have no idea where to begin. Whether you’re a novice and too shy to meet someone local or the wanderlusty lover inside is inspiring you to travel for a new type of adventure, there are many ways to meet like-minded kinksters across the country. Below are 10 tips to help you meet other sexy souls on your safe, sane and consensual journey into the exciting world of bdsm (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, and sadomasochism).
- Join www.alt.com. Alt is social network for people into bdsm and the fetish community, sort of like facebook where you can create a profile, post pictures and join fun groups or discussions, add friends and chat about limits.
- Attend a munch. Many cities throughout the U.S. have small, informal gatherings where you can hang out at a local coffee shop, restaurant or bar and meet others who are usually eager to introduce newbies and novices into the scene. There’s no pressure, no playing, and the organizers are usually fairly protective of newcomers because they want you to be comfortable and to feel safe. Often, however, the group will go to an s&m club or party after the munch and you’re welcome to attend with them. Check out www.findamunch.com .
- Join an organization like The Eulenspiegel Society (www.tes.org), a not-for-profit, BDSM/ leather/ leather social organization which provides a haven for those looking not only to meet others into kink, but they offer weekly munches, classes, and workshops as well as annual conferences, conventions and other events. Not only do they have special groups for novices, younger members or those specifically interested in submissive women/ dominant men, but they offer women only groups where newcomers and old-timers are welcome to discuss issues, ask questions and share information on how to stay safe while exploring.
- Go to The Fetish Fair Flea Market (https://nelaonline.org/fetish-fair-fleamarket) to create or add to your toy box. This twice-yearly event is held in various states in New England where you can not only meet new friends, but you will have the opportunity to learn about the leather/fetish/BDSM lifestyles and community. With over 3,000 attendees and hundreds of vendors, you’re sure to find a sexy, shiny new toy and perhaps a new friend, to play with.
- Join a meetup group. There are thousands of www.meetup.com groups for people into BDSM, leather, fetishes, polyamory, nudism, and alternative sexuality.
- The Folsom Street Fair (www.folsomstreetfair.org ) is held yearly in San Fransisco in September during “Leather Pride Week”. While Folsom mostly attracts gay men into the leather subculture, this non-profit charity fundraiser includes many people from sister groups who have booths, games and performances to raise money for local and national nonprofits, so head to a spanking donation booth and give from your heart; it’s for a good cause. If you’re on the East Coast, Folsom Street East (www.folsomstreeteast.com ) is held in June.
- KinkFest (http://www.kinkfest.org ) is a huge, annual, 3-day event which offers classes and a large vendor mall with local and national leather, fetish, and kink vendors. With over 36,000 square feet of play space, there’s something here for everyone.
- While you may not meet new potential partners at The Leather Archives & Museum (http://www.leatherarchives.org ), it is a cool place to go on a date. The museum offers educational and historical material documenting the kink, fetish and leather culture. Whether you’re researching something specific, or just curious, it’s a fun way to spend an afternoon. And who knows…you just might meet someone new.
- Fetish Con ( http://fetishcon.com/ ) is an annual event, sort of like ComicCon with much tinier costumes, where hundreds of top bondage, fetish and adult models, vendors and exhibitors highlight clothing, latex, corsets, shoes, rope, toys and more. You can attend lectures, workshops, and demonstrations, the erotic art show, or head over to the dungeon to play or just watch people trying out new toys, bondage or suspension scenes, or a good old fashioned spanking. If you get tired and feel like chilling, don’t think you’ll be able to float around in the pool; sexy Pervy Pool Parties are held each night during this 4-day wild event.
- Held yearly in Chicago, Dallas & New Jersey, EXXXOTICA (http://exxxoticaexpo.com ) is one event sexy singles should not miss. If you get bored taking photos with semi-nude porn stars, however, you can shop at over 100 vendors, check out the scandalous live entertainment, or attend some of the fascinating educational seminars.
Wherever your travels take you, be sure to stay safe and have fun!
Have you ever been to any of these places? Do you have a “Fifty Shades” story? Share it with us (anonymously or not!)